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Deviousness `ChewedKandi has certainly gone out of her way to keep the vector community on the right path. Always making sure that her talents are infinitely scalable, Sharon has put her bezier curves to excellent use, and firmly anchored herself as an inspirational leader. We're absolutely delighted to bestow the Deviousness Award for June 2013 to `ChewedKandi. Congratulations, Sharon! Read More
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Sta.sh
ANd for the fave too.
And for the fave too.
The atmosphere of the poem fits the mood perfectly.
There are a few instances where the English phrases are a bit off, though. Probably a bit of Portuguese shining through? However, it's only minor inaccuracies and doesn't distract from the effect as a whole.
(Here be the nitpicks, feel free to disregard!
# "dancing down" is enough, in English you don't need the "on"
# it should be "golden" not "gold"
# "non spoken" should be "unspoken")
dancing down the golden sand
and the syllable game is right.
thank you Juno!
Welcome to my little corner and thank you so much for commenting my little work. As for the "off" parts in English, it is not only a bit of Portuguese but also the need for the words. This type of poetry is haiku. Haiku needs a 5-7-5 syllables to work. if I cut the "on" there is a syllable less. Golden will add up a syllable.
Non spoken to unspoken though is a possibility of change, since it doesn't cut out syllables. Going to change it now. Thank you.